Lucha Underground is only returning in July? Are you kidding me? I’m as angry as an organic Peace bean farmer after Trump urinated all over it (Now watch me piss off both sides with one sentence). So with the long break ahead of us, I got to thinking: where to now for Lucha Underground?
Has the time come for it to spread its wings from the grotty confines of the Temple and fly off to a bigger audience? I’ve heard rumours of a deal with Netflix and it’s awesome, both to keep the company going and bigger exposure for the current wrestlers on the roster, but here is where my paranoia kicks in (You must have known this was coming); What if Lucha Underground gets too big for its own shoes and becomes another TNA? That little ship has basically sunk and the last few lobsters are sun tanning their asses on deck while the last violin solo dies away. I do not want Lucha Underground to become Dixie Cartered and eventually get liquidated.
Lucha Underground has so much magic in it, like I said I said in an earlier column (It’s really excellent, read it you cretins) it makes us the jaded and battle weary wrestling fans feel ten years old again. For the love of Dr Phil, they managed to sell us on dragons, space men and reptiles and make us cheer our hearts out for it. Take a moment and think: What kind of clusterfuck Vince and the Doofus son in law would have come up if presented with an amazing talent like Drago or Aerostar? It horrifies the mind and it would have turned them into circus act jobbers instead of the titans they currently are in Lucha Underground. If they lose that magic, that sheer disbelief then they might as well close the Temple doors for good. It’s a conundrum that I have yet to fully make up my mind on.
Maybe this long break is a good thing (Heel, sit, stay, leave the keyboard with the angry comments) and it will give Lucha Underground time to work out exactly where they plan on going. Maybe time to realize it’s time to leave the carnie atmosphere behind and reach for the stars. But caution is a must here, tread gently and don’t forget what brought you to the dance. Yes, it’s corny but damn true. It would break my heart to see someone like The Mack on WWE as the missing New Day member (complete with breakfast cereal and unicorn horns pardon me while I drop a social green kitten all over this column). Sorry if I’m labouring the point here but I want everybody to watch Lucha Underground and too many times people have given me that look like I had just rolled off their sainted mother or something. The quirky little promotion with the most unbelievable performers and story lines paraded on the main stage? Sounds damn good to me but they are one step away from Dixievile and that Broken Matt Hardy shit (what the hell were they even thinking?!).
Let’s relive this from last year:
Fly well Lucha Underground but watch out for the sun because the fall from grace can be brutal and sudden.
Now excuse me, I have to go over to nasty Uncle Paul’s house to watch Raw till July (It puts the lotion on the skin or it gets the hose). An overdose of Roman Reigns, the Miz and HHH? I’d rather gargle Hilary’s toenail clippings than watch that.
Peace and love bitches.